Sans Undertale
Sans Undertale "Man, I wish I was black" Sans Undertale is the skeletal protagonist and main character of Sans Undertale and Friends Gaming. Although he may be naive and cruel at times, we are lead to believe that somewhere deep, deep down, he is a well-meaning skeleton. Appearance Sans is a horrific half-breed between a skeleton and a human. Often called "Fatass", Sans is rather pudgy and almost no clothes he used to wear fits him anymore. Becoming older with age and sagging everywhere, Sans has resorted to wearing the same blue jacket with a white undershirt and black pants for the past twenty-or-so years. His face has no blemishes, and he has a tooth missing in the middle of his mouth. Early Life Sans was born approximately on September 15, 1969 after he was conceived in the New York Woodstock Festival. He was the result of a teenage pregnancy between the skeleton coal-miner and former asbestos-remover Wallace D. Gaster-Undertale (prefers Gaster) and human high school cheerleader Jennifer L. Oxlong during the Summer of '69. When Jennifer found out she was pregnant, the two arranged a shotgun wedding so as to not enrage her mentally deranged father, Michael Oxlong, a former WW2 veteran who also hated skeletons. The couple moved to Hawkins, Indiana to escape their families' racist gabs in late August where Sans, a horrific crossbreed between skeleton and human, was miraculously born half a month later. Growing up, Sans didn't have the ideal childhood. His father was drafted to fight in 'Nam in 1972 when Sans was only 3. He grew up fatherless with an alcoholic mother for the first few years of his life. She had many affairs and was impregnated by the African-american skeleton mailman Jamal Jordan. When Gaster had returned from 'Nam in 1975, she was already pregnant with Jamal's child. Gaster, who already had a fragile mind, was plunged into PTSD-induced rage and took it out on the family; specifically Jennifer for having an affair. This bastard child had created a rift in the family, forcing the two to file for divorce a few months later. Jennifer had gained custody of Sans and gave birth to his baby half-brother Papyrus. Gaster ended up moving to Laddonia, Missouri for unknown reasons. During Sans's preteen years, Jennifer had married Steve K. Krachowski, a brutal man who worked in the Brimborn Steel Works and was a heavy drinker. Out of the two children, Papyrus was favored more by the family for his excellent grades and talent. He was sent to the very prestigious Roane Academy of the Fine Arts while Sans was sent to the abysmal Hawkins Middle School. Sans would often get detention; and one time when he was in the detention office for microwaving the class hamster during recess, he met the kids from Stranger Things. Sans was included in many of their marijuana-induced adventures when he was a teenager (he still holds grudges against them for not including him in the Netflix series). After Sans graduated in 1987 from Hawkins High School, he tried to go to Purdue University, but decided to drop-out with his college friend Peter Griffin because "Einstein didn't go to school, we could be the next Einstein" (Sans and Peter on multiple occasions while smoking marijuana). The Endgame War of 1991 Sans and Peter ended up getting drafted into the universal-battle that was the Endgame War of 1991. There, they befriended the intelligent, yet crazy, Sheldon Cooper. For one mission in 1993, Sans was stationed in Tatooine when it was bombed by an experimental nuke created by Thanos's Army. Many of the people on the planet died, and as Sans crawled in the sand dunes, he was breathing in the toxic chemical radiation which caused him to hallucinate. In one of his hallucination trips, Sans woke up in a black void. He couldn't see anything, except a small pulsing white light. As he approached it, he noticed it was a red LEGO brick. Being the complete dumbass that he is, the ADHD-Induced Sans touched it. It was like the craziest drug trip of his life. When he was zapped back to reality, he noticed he seemed a lot more juvenile in nature. It was like the bad part of him had dissipated away. All his dark thoughts, all his dark energy, had seemingly left him. Where did it go? There and Back Again After much blood was shed, that of friends and enemies, the very damaged Sheldon, Peter, and Sans headed to California to "Become the next Microsoft" in 1995. After months of designing a really shitty laptop (later picked up by Lenovo which used it as the foundations for their computers), the three had quit their aspirations and given up. Sheldon split ways and began working at the SCP Foundation, getting a PhD in Egg Studies. Peter Griffin's family moved to Sacramento and he went with them (The entire Northeastern United States was bombed by Thanos's Army in 1992, a total wasteland), and Sans was left alone in what he called his "Hooker Mansion". The three had still kept in contact with each other. Present Day After being lonely for so many years, Sans had created a YouTube channel to be hip with the kids. Little does he know, this YouTube channel will actually document the sudden change from his monotonous, boring life, to a life of betrayal, sex (lol), love, and vengeance. To know more about Sans's life in the present, watch or read the episodes of the series. Relationships Toriel In late 1998, Sans had met Toriel Dreemurr . The two had been seeing each other for a few months, and decided to bang it out to cope with Toriel's parents' tragic deaths after they starved to death when the bingo warehouse was locked from the outside. After two weeks, Toriel told Sans that she was pregnant with triplets. They got married in a similar fashion like Sans's parents, and immediately their relationship was off to a rough start. In 2002, Toriel had divorced Sans and had him pay child support, gaining full custody of their three children. Sans never talks about Toriel, even to his best friends. Peter Griffin bros b4 hoes. Peter Griffin is Sans's best friend and is one of the only people who can stand Sans's idiotic personality. Sans met Peter in Purdue University while doing lines on the urinal. They quickly became friends and both dropped out together. The two served in The Endgame War of 1991 which only further strengthened their friendship. When Peter Griffin had died from exploding due to overeating in ''the Last supperr (featuring sans and peter grigfin's bellybustin wacky adventures'', Sans had been thrown into a severe depressive state. Chapter 1 follows Sans trying to desperately bring his best friend back from the grave using Thanos's Infinity Gauntlet. Sheldon Cooper Sans had met Sheldon Cooper in The Endgame War of 1991 when Sheldon was an airplane technician. The only real reason that Sans hung out with Sheldon in the first place was because Sheldon and Peter were high school buddies and would reconnect with each other often. Sans felt excluded when the two were making inside jokes with each other and he held a grudge against Sheldon for "taking away" his best friend. He couldn't really stand Sheldon's insane mind, yet after Peter died thirty years later, he was the only friend that Sans could turn to. Sans reunites with Sheldon in Sans and ShelNut ((from Bik Bangh thyroid) Teach u How tO tie ur SHOES!! where Sans tries to get a helpful tutorial from his friend on how to tie shoes for his YouTube channel. The video doesn't go too well, but Sans suddenly remembers he has to break into the SCP Foundation and asks for Sheldon's help. Sheldon, being a worker there, gives Sans the key card to get inside the lab and the two, with Bill Cipher, plan to revive Peter Griffin. Bill Cipher Bill Cipher, although not really considered a "friend", is an acquaintance of Sans. The two only strictly talk business, and Sans is aware of Bill's shady passed of wishing to conquer the world. Sans meets Bill Cipher in Sans's Depression + Plan to Infiltrate SCP ''at a bar when Bill telepathically understands that Sans wishes to bring back the late Peter Griffin. The two hatch a plan to break into the notoriously fortified SCP Foundation and steal the Infinity Gauntlet, which is being stored in there, to resurrect Sans's friend. When asked about why Bill wants to go to the SCP Foundation with him, Bill Cipher alludes that he wants a certain "Pass", which, as of now, we do not know what that is. '''Harry Potter' Harry Potter is one of Sans's mediocre friends. He only appears in [[Fortnite dance challenge (wif Harry Potter!)!!!|''Fortnite dance challenge (wif Harry Potter!)!!!]]. '' Harry Potter was a one-semester transfer student from England who went to Hawkins High School with Sans. Sans barely knew him as he wanted to disassociate himself from "Asians". This distaste and clear misappropriated racism had caused Harry to grow angry at Sans. In one of his hormonal attempts to get back at Sans, Harry leaked one of his nudes. Their relationship was pretty rocky from then on, yet it began to heal when Harry moved to the California in 2008. Trivia * Although he has a strong distaste for music, Sans makes an exception for Pink Floyd, Nirvana, and Kiss. * Sans is not legally allowed to enter Ukraine, Bolivia, and Nicaragua. * Sans despises Mariah Carey. * During his teen years, Sans would often jack-off to posters of Olivia Newton-John and Phoebe Cates with the Stranger Things kids. * Sans is allergic to peanuts.